Some reflections on Burning Man 2007
By moontroll

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My second trip to the desert was even better than the first, which surprises me. I wasn't as walloped upside the head this time and blown away--I had a better sense of what to expect, but I was worried that those expectations might get in the way of pure experience. But I think the approach I took this year, working for months with the Boogie Universal family on the Boogie Pyramid, camping and living collectively, and having Edub and Scotty as my partners, took it to a new level. The whole 3 month-long pyramid project process was so fun and interesting, and an amazing way to meet new peeps in one's own community. Going down there as a group, working our asses off for three straight days sun-up to sun-down, building the pyramid and domes and camp and kitchen and furniture, hosting dance parties, going through two severe dust storms together (the first one took down our pyramid -- spanked it hard – more on that later…) All of these things made the experience way more interesting than my virginal year. The first year I was more of a lurker, walking around with my mind blown observing all of the delights. This year, the Boogie created delights for others, almost like community service. Being hands-on and involved in acts of creative creation and giving is, I’ve discovered, the true essence of Burning Man.

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One evening, before the Boogie Pyramid bit the dust (literally), I morphed into DJ Playaduster and hosted a memorable Purple Prince party at Boogie Universal. It was listed in the Events Guide, and hundreds of people eventually showed up, many dressed in their finest purple, to get their funk on. I was shy at first and wanted to be an invisible DJ, like in my podcasting, throwing down the funk but not in the spotlight. Then I realized that it was my moment to truly go off, and so DJ Playaduster took over, and he became a rock star. People worshipped him at his purple altar of dirty funk. I spun Prince vinyl for over three hours and people couldn't get enough of it -- I had to play "Erotic City" and "Darling Nikki" several times because those are his naughtiest songs and they got the naughtiest reactions on the dance floor. I closed with “Purple Rain”, of course, which involved a huge group singalong and lighters in the air. Wow. You really had to be there to feel the group-love one-mind that filled the pyramid that night. When it was over, I was met by many Boogiers, hugging me, so happy. Definitely a high water mark in my life of sharing and loving music.

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Soon after, Edub proffered a warm mug of traveler’s tea -- I could write for hours about what transpired that night…it was so rich and full of sensory overloading and dervishy dancing and wild freedom and good friends. One of the most perfect nights of my entire life, really. I eventually broke off from the group -- actually we all splintered off on our own journeys as the fungal powers overcame us and we heard different voices calling us to different vortexes-- and I had an amazing solo Deep Playa bike ride excursion, where I came across alien life-forms, mobile DJ stations playing "nerf beats", fire sculptures, tea yurts, pulsing beacons, neon strippers, rowdy pirates and zones of ultimate peace and satisfaction sitting on the open playa with a rolled smoke, purple wig and ice-cold Mirror Pond....

That night was but one night of a whole slew of mystical magic experiences -- 10 days in total -- all leading up to Saturday night, the BURN, which was the ultimate peak, and not a night I can cover in words just yet.

All week, Scotty was in his most perfect zone I've ever seen him in, a freespace where Scotty could realize his full Scottyness with no limits or judgement. He was a God, and the God's name was Hekter. When you were with Hekter, everything worked out smooth. You might not understand what he was philosophizing about, but you could have complete trust in his ability to realize magic in manifest form. He made this amazing cocktail we drank all week that was like a vodka punch, but soaked in handpicked Selkirk huckleberries and Methow mint, also handgathered -- it was Hekter's Nekter, sometimes Hekter's Pickle Sauce, and it got dankier and dankier as the week progressed and the berries mushed down and the mint dissolved. It energized your lifeforce and kept you going on when things got rough.

It was most excellent being with Edubious too, for he had the eyes and wonder of a first-timer, and he too came in to his true self in a way I've never seen or experienced before-- he had an experience where he came face to face with, as he put it, his Tribe. Soul Tribe. His people. I know it was true because I saw the fire in his eyes. And damn, provided the right beats and flow, that boy knows how to step on it!

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And we danced. Oh my god…we danced. My first year, like I mentioned, I kinda hung on the outskirts of everything, taking it all in. This time I plunged in headfirst without a life preserver, urged on by Hekter and E, neither of whom ever held back. I don't think I've ever shook ma’ white booty like that before. The only thing I can even compare it to would be some of the deep-trance grooving that Jerry’s guitar could inspire, but that isn't a good comparison really -- such different contexts. The music all sounded so, so, so good – I think I actually received most of the week’s nutrition from simply listening to the nighttime music. The grooves were DJ blends like I've never heard before, like music from the frontiers of music, new creations, heavy beats and thick grooves, highly processed and multi-filtered. The music always seemed inspired by specific locations, proximity to specific art installations, crowd vibes, position of the moon, distance to the sunrise and other myriad environmental influences.

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It was all electronica-based, but not the shitty kind of dull wallpaper beats you'd hear at lame dance clubs spinning generic rave music with no flavor. This music was fresh and alive and breathing; it blended dancehall, hiphop, space, funk, dub -- it blipped and skipped and stuttered and dropped the bass like a piano from a 20-story building on to my soul! I think I heard Beck, Spearhead, Marley, Metallica, all mixed in to this omnipresent, multidirectional, everlasting playagroove. The beat was always there, waiting to be accessed, offered freely. It just never quit. My soul and feets aligned to it early in the week, and I kept on the One from there on out. I could pick up the groove nearly anywhere and at anytime. It was my pulse.

Granted, I was "enhanced" pretty much every night out in Black Rock City, and the variety of substances I infused in to my body was intense. But it all felt like medicine to me, like I was a mad scientist playing around with different chemical combinations, all in service of getting the fuck out of my "normal" mindset and to a higher, deeper plane of existence. How often do I have the opportunity to do that: to be a cosmic explorer, a psychic spelunker, a fugitive from the system? How often are we in a position where things are free and safe enough to go exploring the undersides of our souls? To try out different approaches to reality? To play with perceptions and don new identities like changing clothes? I relish the opportunity. I savor the possibilities. I require it from time to time, and I give thanks that I have the opportunity to do that work, have that fun, go wild in the desert.

When you have 40,000+ people all shooting for the moon together, trying to get to that place of deep cosmic inspiration, true magic is possible. We felt it everywhere, in every interaction, with beings both inorganic and organic. All week long, we called our dreams in to reality. It was quite simple, really -- ask for it, and it will come. I don’t mean to get all “Fields of Dreams” on you, but it really worked.

But eventually, the mirage in the desert fades away. This phenomenal, phenomenological experiment in utopia and community and magic and hedonism and creativity and freedom of expression gets packed up pretty quick after the Man is reduced to ashes, and the Burner tribe scatters in all directions.

Once the Man is down and you are watching the Sunday sunrise light up the playa and shine starkly upon the aftermath of the universe's biggest, craziest, wildest throw-down, you begin to feel your mortality. You start to feel the effects of all those substances and lack of sleep and weird eating habits and hours upon hours of bike riding and dancing and exposure to too much sun and dust.

Man, hitting that wall come Sunday, last day of the gathering, is somethin' harsh and heavy.... the sad packing up of all your dusty, scattered possessions (“Where’d I leave that tutu? Why is my toothbrush in my shoe? Who’s g-string-wearing garden gnome is this?”), the slow crawl off the playa and out of the Nevada desert, up empty eastern Oregon, crossing the Columbia back into the cloudy dank, trailing a big dust cloud behind you the whole way, is a rough journey. Everything you brought down with you is trashed, fingernails and toenails painted a weird silver and hair in dreadlocks, car infiltrated by a fine dust in every possible crevice, insides knotted up and mind completely spent.

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The only good thing about that bleary passage back home was the opportunity to process everything with my fellow traveler Edubious for hours and hours. This is an important step in the reintegration process. You are so in the moment and in the flow all week long that there is hardly a chance to size things up or organize stimuli or interpret cosmic events. We talked the Burn out for 1,000 miles, taking notes, recording stories, sketching out timelines, shedding a few tears, slowly returning to the self we left back home.

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But hopefully we don't simply step back in to that old shell, that well-worn personality and ego that we inhabited before the Burn. The goal is to take some of what we learned or experienced and find ways to integrate the best of it in to our daily life. And that is really hard. Those first few weeks are really rough. Unreasonably difficult. Strangely painful and disorienting. We were straddling two different worlds and it is an uncomfortable position to be in. It was very difficult for me to be in the company of anybody but people I burned with, especially Edubious and Hekter and our new "4th Broke Dude," Ramona Mayhem of Bainbridge Island. I'm sure it is hard for our people back home too, cuz it is all you want to talk about! It is all you can think about!

And then you are sitting in front of a computer in a cubicle at work and the contrast to the freedom of the desert couldn't be any starker....

Work it out. You work it out…

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Soon enough, Hekter traveled over the mountains for a week in Sunnyland, and we were joined on the weekend by Ramona and Edubious, and then we got together with the Boogie crew on the dancefloor for one more dose of wigs, hugging and dancing. That reunion, 2 weeks ago, helped me to kind of bookend my whole experience and be able to bring it to some sort of closure. Not closed off or shut down, but just put away to the side so I can be ready to meet what comes next here in this world. It feels like something that is in a drawer, giving off a glow, and I can open the drawer and recharge myself a bit from that glow. It is always near at hand. But I haven’t yet learned the secret skill of of basking in the glow while still functioning in this other world...

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moontroll, November 2007



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